Struggle Within

Lea felt as if she was stabbed the moment she turned off the power of her computer. Five years. Yes, it had been five years when she started working in this company. And now, it is time to leave. She looked sadly at her work station. Her own little world for her nine to five job. It used to be filled with her own trinkets, with documents she needs to finish before the deadline. She already cleared her desk. Now it is empty with only a flat screen monitor atop it. She sighed with her nostalgia. The office that she will soon have will be a corner office. Where sunlight will bathe her, wherein she will have a larger mahogany table and more sophisticated high-back swivel chair. It is time to move on to a bigger and better world. “So you are really leaving,” a voice called her from behind. She almost jumped with surprise but her heart did that against her rib cage. “Why?” she faced him without any trace of emotion that swirled on her chest. “Will you stop me?” she asked point blank. She found herself wishing that could be true. “Nah, a bigger salary and a higher position in a multi-national company?” he said and gave her the smile that always make her knees weak. “No, way will I stop you.” She wondered if there was even a slight envy when he said that. After all, they started working together in the same year. But she climbed up in the ranks of the corporate ladder as he just remained below looking up to her. Lea sometimes convinces herself to believe that this man was secretly insecure with her being more successful than him. And that is the reason why he never felt the same way as she does for him. She hold on the handle of her bag tighter than needed. She needs the pressure to prevent her mind from wondering such mean and useless thoughts. “You did not attend my Farewell party a while ago,” she said instead. “Oh, I met up with Kara,” he said and the sudden affection on his voice twisted a knife on her stomach. “Then I came here in the office to say goodbye.” She nodded, but she really wants to slap her bag across his face. Even for the last time, he mentioned the name of his girlfriend. “Thank you, Dave,” is all she can say. “I have to go,” it was an imperative to herself before she will be tempted to throw herself at him and hug him tightly and never let go. She got passed him and almost run away before her tear betrays her. “I will miss you, Lea,” she heard him say that made her stop on her feet. “Thank you for being an amazing friend.” “My new office is just a block away,” she wonders if he sensed the desperation on her tone, but her knows that Dave had been always dense about her feeling for him. “See you,” and continued to make her way out in the office. She pressed the down button of the elevator. She can see the numbers going up to the level where she is. She wants it to be slow motion. Maybe, just maybe, Dave will follow her. The elevator arrived but there was even no footstep that echoed the lobby. Her feet felt like it was heavily chained as she entered it. As its’ door closed, she also did to her eyes and let go of her tears swelling up. As the elevator lowered her down in the building, she remembered everything about Dave on the half a decade they had been together. The everyday chit-chat in the office, clocking extra time at work and the countless night out and weekend getaways with their other office friends. How she wish memories can easily brushed off as her tears of her cheeks. The elevator finally stopped on the ground floor, she took a deep breath and gathered her strength to see the light again. Lea wants to leave all her hurts on the confinement of the elevator. She put on her game face that couldn’t care less about Dave. She will soon have her own corner office after all. She felt braver as she step out to the world oblivious to the turmoil inside her.

Keep Sparkling!

I was concerned about my friend. She shared with me that it was not that peachy at work this past few days. Things were not going on her favor. I thought that maybe it was because she was so familiar and comfortable doing that for five years. I know how smart and hardworking my friend is, so I believe that maybe she was just reaching her “saturation point” but will eventually get her grove back. So it was quite a surprise when a credible person approached me to inform me that my friend got yet another negative feedback from a client. We concluded that maybe she is losing her “spark” in teaching. What used to be her passion just became a dreaded and boring routine for her. I know that it is not yet too late for my friend to turn things around. Life can really turn dull, but it doesn’t mean that it can’t be colorful again. We should have a purpose on our work. When I was still a teacher, my aim is to teach my students and help them improve with their English skills. I also want to talk to them about their jobs or studies so that it will less stressful for them. As a team leader, my goal is always to represent my team to the best of my ability and to motivate them to be the best educators that they can be. Now that I am a Trainer, my vision is to produce the best batches of EIAs that Xepesys had ever had. I also challenge myself to continue learn something new. “Wisest is she who knows she doesn’t know.” Everyday is an opportunity to gain new knowledge and experience. That alone would be an inspiration to wake up everyday. It would be a waste if we were hesitant to seize the day. It may seem that it would be another “normal” day, so it is up to us on how to make it special. We should also accept that our work and company could never be perfect. So it is either you would stick with it or find a greener pasture. Should you decide to stay, make the most out of it by doing your best in your work and try to grow with the company by advancing your skills making you more indispensable. Should you think that it is time to try another company, that is a major decision that takes proper time and preparation, and not just because the boss had been breathing down your neck. We are all gems. Our radiance may sometimes be clouded, but our sparkle is always within us.

Promoted

The most successful of this generation are “those who have been given opportunities- and who have had the strength and presence of mind to seize them.” I really did not see it coming. I know that an important person in our company is about to resign, but since his position is unconnected to mine, I thought that I would not be affected at all. His post will be vacant so the management will undergo restructuring. So, I was offered to be the new Trainer, and my initial reaction is to decline. It is a huge responsibility. Our previous Trainers did not last long. Each one of them resigned after a short tenure. As a Team Leader I worked with our current Trainer and I know how hard it is to be on his shoes. He is on the frontline to deal with the manager about the concerns of the clients and team leaders. I think that was his greatest challenge and I must say that he was able to do a good job on his reign. To accept the torch will mean that I will no longer have the safety net. I will be the representative of not only the Team Leaders but also all the teachers. But I am proud to say that I overcame my cynic, negative and coward self. I realized that it is all up to me how I would perceive this change, and I decided to see this as an opportunity. It is my chance to grow and to learn. After almost half a decade doing what I do best at work, being a teacher and a Team Leader, I think it is high time to shake things up. For the longest time, I had been dreaming to be a Communication coach in a call center company. In a way, it was given to me, but it was wrapped in a different package. I may be hesitant at first, but now I am determined to show that I was chosen for this job because I really can excel on it.